People tend to respond in the manner in which you respond. If you get angry and yell, the other person is likely to get angry and yell. If you get accusatory and escalate, the other person is likely to get defensive and escalate.
On the other hand, if you listen, remain open to the other person’s point of view, and establish safety, it’s more likely that you will have a productive conversation.
From Crucial Conversations.
Links to this note
-
The door-in-the-face technique is a negotiating tactic is when you ask for something rediculous so that your next ask is more likely to be agreed to. This has been proven to be effective in a psychology study in 1975 and then replicated in 2021.
-
Don’t Step into Someone Else’s Frame
When negotiating, it’s important to control the frame in which the conversation is happening. The frame constrains what kinds of ideas can be explored and the rules that govern evaluating them. When you step into someone else’s frame in a negotiation, you become bound to the constraints they set.